Thoughts on Turning 40

The Existential Crisis That Never Arrived

Something that always irritates me is 40-something characters in a book or on screen being depicted as shrivelled up and past it. I remember reading Intermezzo, Sally Rooney’s latest, last October and being convinced the main female character was in her late fifties — in fact, she was supposed to be the grand old age of 36. I was 39 at the time of reading the book and immediately felt like I’d been relegated to old age. Why are fictional protagonists either written as young and interesting women in their twenties and early thirties, or depicted as being old and dull if they’re over 35?

I turn 40 at the weekend. I don’t feel that much different to how I felt when I turned 30, although I now own a house, am responsible for a dog, and make significantly more money. I guess I am much more ‘grown up’ than I was ten years ago, but I still feel just as messy and just as fun.